Category Archives: Articles

Occupy… The Conversation

Posted on by
5

I’ve been especially intrigued by the “Occupy…” movement sweeping not just our country but the entire globe.  While I wish I could attend one as I feel very much aligned with this movement, it’s just not been possible given my current circumstances.  So, I’ve been watching and listening with interest from afar (mainly through Facebook and any news reports that come my way).

What I’m thoroughly engrossed with is the process and quality of most of the Occupy conversations that I’ve heard about in reports.  Here is a YouTube video of the process they’re calling “direct democracy” which is built on the consensus decision making model.  For me this video captures a quality of deep respect for each person willing to step forward and be heard, and it feels like such an antidote to the divisive political posturing that has paralyzed our governmental process in recent years.

While I realize that this video does not represent all that is happening at these Occupy events, it offers a powerful example of how very large groups could participate in a collective leadership process.

Here are a few highlights that stand out for me (in no particular order):

  • It’s an incredible example of self-organization.  There are no identified leaders.  Anyone who wants to speak is given a chance.  This is confusing and messy for the media wanting sound-bites because it becomes so hard to pin down.  And yet, look at the ripple effect spreading from country to country.  Something very elemental is being tapped into through this process.
  • Since microphones are often not permitted in the Occupy settings, the style of speaking is very structured – Each speaker must take their time as each sentence is repeated and echoed through the crowd.  This means that the speaker must be very concise, but can (and must) also pause between sentences to formulate what they want to say next.
  • There is such an air of respect for every speaker which gets conveyed through the repetition of each sentence.
  • This quality of respect is amplified by the use of hand-signals rather than sound to show approval or disagreement. No one is shouting over the speaker. Applause isn’t cutting off what’s being said. So every word get’s conveyed.  Every word is heard.
  • The quality of attention and listening in the large crowd is truly impeccable so as to be able to repeat accurately what the speaker is saying.  I don’t see any side conversations or milling about in the videos I’ve watched.
  • When the audience echoes back what the speaker has just said, exactly as it was said, the speaker can then consider if this is what they really meant.  And, because there is a pause while the echoing happens if they hear back something that they didn’t really mean, they can chose to re-frame say it again in a different way.
  • The ability to block something is held very preciously, not to be used lightly. And, while scary, every person has the right to stand up and object if something doesn’t feel right at its core.  When someone does block a decision, then the group needs to listen carefully, honoring the courage that it takes, and again listening to find what’s good for the whole.
  • This kind of conversation isn’t looking for the quick fix and can’t be expedited. It takes time, is often messy, and can occasionally become really confusing.
  • So then the group takes a break.  People step away to tend to other activities, reflect in silence, or join together to sing, dance and make music, trusting that clarity will eventually emerge if they hold the process and each other gently, joyfully, respectfully.

What if all our important conversations at all levels, from our political “leaders” to our closest relatives, where held with such great respect for each other in this way?

What if we really listened as each person spoke to better understand what they are saying, knowing that we’ll each have a turn if we wish to speak?

What if we really listened to each other with the expectation that no single person has all the answers, but that each person offers a seed, a gift, a spark that is a voice from the collective whole?

What if we each entered into important conversations not trying to convince but wanting to learn from each other and to discover together what is good for the whole?

Having had the opportunity to express what’s important to us each individually, What if we then let go of our individual positions, so that as a community we could make room for the emergence of something far greater and collective?

How would our world be different if this was the way we engaged in all our important conversation?

Creating Healthy and Resilient Communities

Posted on by
2

As the hosting team prepares for the Art of Hosting – Vermont training that’s starting this Thursday, we’ve honed in on the theme of creating healthy and resilient communities.  The group that’s gathering has  begun to have email conversations around this topic which has prompted me to think deeply about the questions of what is resilience? How do I personally stay healthy and resilient?  And, how could my personal experience translate into a new way of thinking about how to create healthy and resilient communities?

Here are some initial thoughts…

For me personally, resilience means the ability to respond (not react) in the moment to problems as they arise from a balanced and centered place such that I stay healthy and vibrant.  When I think about resilience I come to it from the body perspective of my long time training in yoga, meditation, tai chi and dance.

In Tai Chi (a Chinese “martial art” with many metaphors for how to become more resilient in life) I’ve learned that when something unexpected comes my way, rather than tightening up into a defensive posture (where someone can get hurt), I (ideally) soften into the moment, flow with the forward moving energy until I can find a way to either consciously chose to continue to go in that direction or to deflect the energy in a more favorable direction.  In either case, I can then return to center.  There’s a strong element of trusting that if I just stay present with what is before me and truly “listen” both to myself and to others in the situation, the next “right” thing will begin to emerge that will hold both my own well-being and the well-being of others.

I remember once reading that even long-time meditators (people who meditate for up to 7 hours a day) get thrown off balance in the normal course of events in their daily lives.  What makes them more resilient to the exigencies of life is the ability to bounce back to their center much faster than us ordinary folks.

When we attempt to find balance physically, such as in a balancing yoga posture, for instance, it’s not a static event.  We don’t arrive in a balanced state and hang out there forever.  We are constantly shifting, changing, making small physical adjustments to maintain that balance… We are constantly falling out of balance and readjusting so that we can return to balance… To that place where we have a strong sense of our center.

As part of our email conversation about resilience, someone mentioned the value of resistance. In the kind of modern improvisational dance that I do, when we partner with someone and give them resistance (which can also be experienced as support), both people can stretch way beyond their solitary comfort zone and be completely out of balance, but the entity created by the partnership stays balanced.  And we can do so much more in this partnership than if we are attempting to do something on our own.   If either person lets go of the other, both people fall down.  If either person pulls too hard, both people fall down.  So there is a continuous give and take and a “listening” to each other to know just how far we can go.  And, again, there is a deep level of trust to work with someone in this way.

So when I think about how to apply this thinking to creating resilient communities, I’m left with a whole bunch of questions:

  • How can we identify a community’s center?  Is it a physical place (last week there were a great series of stories on the Vermont public radio station about how the general store was once the center of small Vermont towns)?  Is it a set of practices, like getting together for community events (4th of July celebrations, for example)?  Is it the principles and values that hold a community together? Is it the town meetings, the mayor, the CEO, the board of directors? Is it the felt sense that everyone is part of a shared experience?  Or, is it some combination of all of the above?  Each community is different, and I wonder if enough thought is ever given to what is the community’s center?
  • What are the conditions that throw our communities out of balance?
  • What do our communities need to do to come back to center when problems arise? What are the small little adjustments that will help the community to regain a sense of balance when there are conflicts or disagreements?
  • What does the community feel like when it’s out of balance?
  • What does the community feel like when it’s in balance?
  • How can we in our communities support each other, provide resistance to each other, and trust each other enough, so that we can stretch ourselves and go out of balance together, but in doing so creating something that is far greater than what the individuals can do alone?
  • How can we create conditions where we can trust each other enough in our communities that we can experiment with a new, emergent reality that takes us far beyond what we can do alone or could imagine doing together?

Much food for thought….

P.S.  In my work as a public speaking presence coach I think a lot about resilience in terms of how speakers can return to center when they are feeling particularly anxious about a speaking “gig”.  I’ve written a lot of articles on this subject on my SpeakingPresence blog.  There’s one article in particular that has some relevance to this post.  It’s titled Leadership Lessons Learned from Two Weeks of Dance Improv.

Engaging the Whole Person in Conversation

Posted on by
Reply

(This story first appeared on the Pegasus Communications blog on June 2, 2011.  Click here for a PDF copy of this article as it appeared in the Pegasus Communications Systems Thinker newsletter.)

I’ve been facilitating group experiences for almost 25 years. One of the first things I learned was the importance of creating a sense of safety so that people can fully participate in the work they have gathered to do together. The best way to begin that process is to give participants a chance to check in and introduce themselves.

Early on, I found that the standard introductory, “Tell us your name, what you do, and why you are here,” was never very satisfying. People usually responded by giving their “elevator speeches”–what they had been coached to say at networking events. These often came across as a rote recitation of a canned response with no life or authenticity.

I wanted to hear more. I wanted to have a glimpse of the person behind the introduction. I wanted something solid and real and human. So began my quest for a way to bring the whole person into the room. There are lots of ice-breaker exercises out there that are designed to do that. But quite honestly, many of them felt contrived and most were not appropriate for the kinds of groups I was running.

As a visual person, I was drawn to images that could be used to ©Carla Kimball, 2011engage both the right and left brains. I found that when I combined a selection of images with a targeted question, participants would begin to share so much more of themselves than if I simply asked, “Tell us something about yourself.” Instead, I would say, “Find a photo that captures or represents…”

  • Who you are in this moment
  • How you currently feel about [the issue at hand]
  • What you hope we accomplish by the end of our time together
  • The essence of [the issue at hand]
  • A quality you’d like to bring to this meeting

For a long time, the problem was that I needed a large number of a wide variety of images so that people had plenty to choose from. I tried collecting pictures from magazines (too commercial and not durable enough to withstand continuous use), postcards (it took too long to gather the variety I was looking for), and specialty cards like Tarot decks and other decks with images on them (the images were never quite right for my purposes).

I had been taking photographs for years, but not the kind you put in a photo album for the family or send to friends documenting an event. My photos were always quirky … an interesting door, a part of a curb, an unusual perspective.

At the same time, I became increasingly interested in conversational methodologies like the Art of Hosting and the Flow Game, where I discovered the power of a really good question. I wanted to become more skilled at designing the kinds of questions that would evoke interesting conversations.

In January of 2009, I combined my love of photography with my desire to practice asking questions into this daily photo blog. Since that time I have posted a photo and a question as a daily practice. After more than two years of daily postings, I have accumulated a large number of photos and questions that, in fact, work quite well for group introductions, check-ins, and deepening conversations. They can also be used for personal reflection and sparks for creative activities.

The point is that images, especially when combined with provocative questions, can provide an excellent jumping off point for conversations that break the ice and allow participants to bring more of themselves to the issue at hand.

Think of it as a conversation

Posted on by
Reply

Over the course of the last several months, I’ve made an important decision about how I present my work and where I focus my attention.

For more than 10 years I’ve been a Public Speaking Presence Coach through my company RiverWays Enterprises.  I love working with individual clients in private coaching sessions because our sessions flow naturally from simple conversation.  I also love the small group coaching programs that I run.  This includes the one- or two-day intensives as well as my 12 week course, because there are never more than six people and, once again, our time is filled with conversations that flow easily as we exchange ideas, challenges, and discover how much we share with each other while at the same time celebrate and learn from our differences.

Much of the work I do with these clients has to do with helping them recognize the value of thinking of each encounter as a conversation rather than a presentation.  Even if they are speaking to a large audience, if they allow themselves to speak conversationally to one person at a time it eliminates the pressure to be perfect, polished, and the expert, and shifts the tone to a much more intimate, collaborative experience.

Occasionally I am asked to do a one or two hour presentation to large groups of people where I’m brought in as the expert and asked to talk about some topic related to my work.  Despite the claims of marketing/networking gurus that this is a good way to attract new business, I’ve come to realize that these events simply don’t give my audiences real opportunities for change.

Because there’s typically so little time in these situations and the audiences are usually large, I’ve found myself giving informational talks on the topic of The Seven Crown Jewels of Presence in Speaking, Leading and Life!   As a distillation of all that I’ve experienced in my work as a Public Speaking Presence Coach, this material is actually really good, and in my work with clients I refer to them all in the natural course of conversation.

While I know that the ability to speak conversationally to one person at a time significantly reduces my own anxiety, what’s missing for me, and lately becoming more and more of a disconnect, is that these “presentations” are relatively one-sided, with me, as the expert, presenting to “you,” as the passive audience.  My audiences often leave stimulated and interested in the topic, but I wonder if anything really significant has changed for them.  Instead, I think that, for the most part, people think, “well, that was a nice talk and an unusual perspective,” and then promptly forget what we talked about and go on with “business as usual”.

My decision this month, greatly influenced by my ongoing work with Art of Hosting practices, is that I no longer want to be brought in as the “expert”.  Instead, I’m most drawn to entering in as a coach or a “host” and to design interactive and engaged conversations amongst all the people in the room that can lead to real change, both for the individual and the organization or community.

I will happily continue with working with small groups and individuals on helping them developing their confidence and presence as public speakers, but when asked if I will do a presentation to large groups, I will instead offer to explore ways to make it an interactive conversation, whether it be asking volunteers to be coached in front of the room or designing experiences where everyone in the room gets a chance to speak and be heard.